I have been trying to talk to myself all these days and I found that my way of talking out my feelings is by putting them forth among the fragility of words and see them blend into ink and paper.
Trying to bind my feelings to words has always been a strange experience. Partly liberating and partly saddening. Liberating because it allows the feelings to ooze out into the physical world and saddening because it allows those feelings to manifest themselves so strongly that it trespasses into everything. An experience so very overwhelming that it dries you out sometimes. But the liberation makes all of it worthwhile!
So I set forth on my journey to gather the feelings from all the islands of emotions spread along the ocean of life. And I try to put down what I see and feel into words. Setting the infinite into the finite. Failing and losing the wind at times. Having the mast taut and sailing forth in sunny days at other times. The journey of words taking you through the journey of life.
It surprises to see how everything percolates down to black and white. From national democracy issues to personal touches and feelings, everything transforming into strange shapes. Ink merging into paper like lifeblood. Rain water making its mark on barren land and causing life to sprout forth. Green life from lifeless earth. Black shapes on white paper. Emotions flowing like rivulets across a black and white landscape. Lives sprawling in black on the plain whiteness of the void.
The magic of words is so very simple and yet it strikes pure awe every time I think of it. How strange little shapes lend themselves to be put into stranger forms. Shadowy life-forms crawling against the white paper. And at the end of it all the strangeness starts making sense. The essence of life captured and stored within the limits of a sheet of paper.
I sit down, thinking of it at times. Thinking how the life on paper reflects our lives in this world. Little colonies of black life-forms. Some relating together, bound and stuck to each other, making some sense and further loosely relating to many others to make greater sense! Making complete sense in totality.
So does our life. Loving people. Living with them. Relating and making sense in the smaller equations of life and making sense of it all in the bigger picture.
Captivating in its essence, unexplored in its raw reality.