Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Jeet tera hai ilaaz - Victory is your cure

This one is in Hindi. Will try to post a translation as well soon in case anyone wants that.

Reh gaya ho gar koi muddato mei bhool kar,
Ya tere dil ki awaaz ab kabhi aati nahi,
So raha hai gar tera har khyaal-e-aarzu,
Aur tere paiyro mei chalne ki dhadhak aati nahi,

Toh bataana dil ko ye ki haar hai bas haar mei,
Tu nahi chalta toh manzil bhi idhar aati nahi,
Aur jagaana har kadam mei jeet ke us ehsaas ko,
Jis mei thaknei aur shikan ki boo kabhi aati nahi,

Kya wo keemat khoon ki, himmat-e-marzi mei hai,
Gar nahi toh laut jaa, ab dar idhar baaki nahi,
Haar toh ek marz hai aur jeet tera hai ilaaz,
Par wo zinda-dil ki jeetein muft mei aati nahi.

-Anubhav

English Translation
If you've been forgotten for a long time,
Or if the voices of your heart are no more heard,
If your desires and dreams are asleep,
And your feet don't have the fire to move on...

Let it be known that the only defeat is in defeat (itself),
If you do not move, your destinations won't (come to you),
And let the feeling of victory rise in your steps,
Wherein there are no frowns or exhaustion...

Is the will of your desires up to pay the price?
If not, turn around! For there's no space for fear ahead,
Defeat is a mere disease, and victory is your cure,
But the life of freedom has a price to pay...

-Anubhav

Monday, March 27, 2006

The Equality of Inequality

Brick walls, glass-houses and mirrors in the corridor,
Shades of blue and black reflections crawl on the mosaic floor.
Shadowed forms move across with faces painted with fear,
The glint in their eyes is not a shine but a tiny drop of tear.

Agony untold, retold, unsaid and reiterated, in their whispers,
They talk of equality that should be, that could have been.
Aloud they dream and silently express their clauses and inferences,
Of how the corridors should have been different than they are.

There is a magic that fear instills and that life responds to -
In a minor entertained fashion, as if it had a clue.
An answer maybe to the reasons, a question for the cause,
And the shadows move on with restlessness without a sense of pause.

Mirrors! Why mirrors? To see us reflect our own pains,
To watch our shame flow by in retrospect as we edge on,
To a greater good? To a finer sin? An unwanted introspection begins,
And murmurs line the corridors, with the shadows halted,
About the hungry children dying in the underbellies of the place.

Unkempt forms crawl up from behind the crowded lanes,
And shout aloud in frantic calls - the images in their brains.
There is a change that they demand, a change to change within,
They want the world – a better place? Is it a fatal sin?

And voices from the upper berths, the crust of all men,
Break across the fathomed crowd, a striking harsh truth,
There can be no better place that they could have it be,
And the mirrors on the wall shall remain, and reflect,
The shame that has been brought on the race of men,
There shall be no equality that would be known to them,
The hungry children shall keep dying and shadows must move on.

-Anubhav

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Life - An abysm

I closed my eyes around a dream once,
Held it close to my heart, embraced it as my own,
And wherever I went, the dream was with me,
Like the only truth, the only reason that I could see.
I held its arms and walked it around my life,
As if by chance, I felt, I had struck luck,
Life as I see now, had it all coming.

Planned from the scratch without an element of chance,
The subtle movements - parts of a fatal cosmic dance,
Pin pointed at a man in a fair game of destiny,
Where nothing was ever fair and was never meant to be,
Unending narrow curved roads, disorienting the man,
Leading him to an end that he never began for.

Life is an abysm, an aberration from the truth -
That should have been and has vanished within -
The unknown depths of mystery that life is.
Sometimes mutating into an attraction,
Calling me close in its arms, caressing my lips,
And then as if it were a plan, a conspiracy of sorts,
It grabs me by my collar and discloses itself,
In a raw gross reality, pushing me into the darkness.

-Anubhav

Saturday, March 18, 2006

What did you lose?

Its like sometimes when you can't sit down in a place,
You walk around; Fidgeting fingers; Lines on your face -
- Telling a story that you don't want to hear; You want quiet -
- Moments to wrap you in sleep; Bring peace to your eyes.
They have been flowing on with thoughts; Emotions; Cravings,
Dried pools that once used to be a sea; Like spent up savings -
- There is no more that you can give; No more you can take.
The sweat on your hands questions you; You say "I forsake"...
You want magic? Miracles? "No, I just want my sleep".
Questions; Questions; Answers; Silence is what you keep -
- Close to your heart; Closer to your thoughts; Distant from you.
You find a lie in every retreat; A lie; Its false; Is that true?
Corners in your head, with little groups of thoughts emerge -
- Murmuring sounds of disapproval; Silent when you get close.
Words gather up in scattered forms; A poetry? A prose?
You move your feet in random ways, staring at the wall,
Waiting for moments to collate into something beautiful.
It does not happen; Has it happened yet? Till now?
There is no form that they seem to take; Except shadows -
- Little; Big; small; Huge; Darkness is what darkness shows.
You the turn the chair, trying to face another wall,
As if that would have answers; You take a stroll...
Walk a few feet; Turn around; Walk; Turn; Stop; Sit.
You found peace? Something? A little bit?
None? Is there something lost that you want to find?
A memorandum of happiness? Stamped and signed?
Blank eyes look back at you from behind the cold air -
- That you breath in and out; Seconds; Minutes; Hours.
Passing by like a street side shop from within a car...
Is it getting close? Close enough? Is it so far?
What did you lose really? Just sleep or something more...

- Anubhav

Friday, March 17, 2006

The war with my reflection

A looking glass; A mirror on the wall; My reflections;
Scars on my face; A memory of yesterday remains -
- With me, when I walk down the lanes in my mind...
Curtained thoughts; Curtailed; Tip-toe from behind,
I brush my hair; More hand than comb; Ruffled hair,
Water dripping down the faucet; Trickling despair..
Fundamentals; Principles; Ethics; Morals shaken up,
Yesterday; Today; Tomorrow; Time blends into me...
And I into time; ticking every minute; Walking to you -
- Is it you that I am walking to? Am I walking yet?
Am I running away? From you? For you? I forget -
- The reasons why I run? The reasons why I stop?
The water trickles on with your reflection in every drop,
My eyes fidgeting with my mind; The mirror; The scars...
I turn around and look back over my shoulders,
Stealing glimpses at my own reflection; It talks to me -
- Sometimes it does; In whispers most of the time,
Hushed tones; Loud silence; Angry; Serene; Sublime!
Metaphors and their affiliations floating through -
- The mirror; Attaching to me, and to my image...
I try to scratch the mirror to remove the scar...
Futile attempts; Unknown trysts; A lasting war...
I clench my fists; I want to have no past; Just today -
- That's all I want for me; I stare at the mirror -
I stare back at myself; Pleading guilty one more time.
Kneeling down in my thoughts, I ask for forgiveness,
I ask for more; And more; And more; Nothing less;
I stand on the floor; Wrestling with my yesterday,
I hit as hard as I can - Smashing the glass to pieces...

-Anubhav

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Shapes on the wall

Grey colours from the walls creep into my thoughts...
Like blended emotions, restless for attention...
Shapes forming unseen faces on the silent wall...
Loud noises reverberating through my head...
Echoes from the past - Voices of tomorrow...
I find a house, a place, a road to follow -
- On the wall; I find friends smiling silently...
Some faces looking like two; Some just one,
Some sitting silently; Some want to run -
- Away; Far far away into the dawns of yesterday...
I see some toys - gloves, a bat and a ball to play...
Scribbled letters in chalk by the little kids...
I remember when I used to do the same...
Little pencils in my hand - it was a game -
- Life was; Screaming, shouting, laughing...
Sleeping in the winter, waking to spring...
Hugs from my mother, love from family...
I see the little face that once used to be me...
Looking at me with disdain, disgust and fear...
I see her too with smiles, her hair flowing by...
I remember that look when she said good bye...
Tears streaking down her face, streams of life -
- Or of the lifeless times to come? Silence...
Yes... I find silence on the wall too...
Staring back at me with loud quiet stares...
Some chipped paint forming a flight of stairs...
Like the one at school, where we used to sit...
Talking of the world, maths, girls, everything...
Smirking when the English teacher asked me to sing...
The end of day and we rushed out of the class...
I see the road that I took for home... Serenity...
Yes... I see serenity too on the wall...
Tricking the mess of life, challenging it...
And I notice some more forms... I try to decrypt...
Blurred... It is too blurred to understand...
It looks like a... Face... No.. no.. Its a hand...
I am trying to focus, to see the shape clear...
Smash!! You open the door... The paint falls...
I was looking at that corner.... Was finding life...

-Anubhav

Saturday, March 11, 2006

At the back of my hands

I keep looking at the back of my hands...
Mesmerized at my thoughts... of you...
Seems like only yesterday - you and me,
Sitting together, passing smiles at life,
You held my hand and kissed it...
I still feel the warmth and long for it...
Your smiling and me making a song for it...
Those days sped by so fast...
Just a blurred vision remains...
I feel words blending into my ears...
Final thoughts - your parting tears...
The sun went by - Its a cloudy sky...
Now I just hear murmurs in the air,
My thoughts talking to my feelings.

-Anubhav

I am waiting

It was a merry go round once -
- Life was; Seclusions and isolations;
One following the other, led by life,
Each following an unknown tryst -
- With destiny; Surprises and set backs...
Nights after days - dawns waiting for dusk...
"Must be done"; "What must be done ?"
Questions for my answers and silence -
- For my smiles, tears, passion and more...
The quietness came before the storm...
And after it; You came before I did...
And you left when I came; Still quiet.
Yes it was a merry go round once...
Scrambled emotions in retrospect -
- Going in paths encircling life...
And now its just a point; A single point...
Where I stand and wait for life.

-Anubhav

Blue

I want to be red, want to be green,
I want to hide and still be seen...
I want to colour my life in black an white...
I just want to fade away tonight...
I am feeling, like a day once more...
Like a feeling of yesterday...
I want to fly, want to reach out for the sky...
I would have gone far away, but for you...
I can't be without... I am feeling blue...
Yes, feeling all blue... today again... yes again...
I cannot feel your hand... can feel the pain...
Just the morning went overboard...
And the evening was lonely too...
Now I am feeling blue... All blue....
My tears are taken back,
Words said are silent now...
I can feel the heat in my mind...
Like life creeping on from behind....
It was in the air when I was at the gate...
Its still hanging on and its pretty late...
I knew it was to good to be true...
And now I am blue... Am feeling blue...
I left the keys at home, and was late for work...
And the people there, I felt them smirk...
Then I dropped the papers on the floor,
When noon came by I was still not sure...
I tripped at the door, spilled the coffee too...
I am feeling blue... All blue...
The traffic lights seemed to mock at me...
The noisy horns and the frenzied spree...
Life running around in mini skirts...
And royal blue tucked in shirts...
When I reached for the mail....
There was nothing new...
Was still feeling blue...
I was missing you ... Feeling blue....

- Anubhav

Friday, March 3, 2006

I hope when I am hurt

Why does it hurt? Why do I feel the pain?
Why do I walk with shaking steps today?
Why do I fall everytime I rise in the dark?
Why does it come and pass away... ?
Goodness does... life does... you do sometimes...
I feel hurt everytime... Worse than before,
I cannot get used it even now...
After hundred times it hurts even more...
I cannot replicate myself, cannot cry...
I cannot laugh, cannot say good bye...
I need you everyday... Like my angel,
To hold you when everything else goes by,
Fingers entangled - we look at the sky,
Talking, whispering, counting stars...
My dream of you, your dream of me...
Our dreams together like love undone,
You have come so far for me...
I have been running for so long for you...
"I missed you" - you say - "I missed you too"
And yet it hurts even today, like fresh...
When you go and do something like that...
When I feel you've given up on me...
When I feel the world means so much more...
It hurts when I feel you walk over me...
I want those days back... of you and me...
Looking at the stars, splashing in the sea...
Hands in hands, eyes interlocked...
Having time and life pass us by...
We smiling and holding on... forever

-Anubhav