Screened Innocence

फिर इतना आकर्षण क्यूँ है?

2010-08-26T23:30:00.002+05:30

मै दिन का शोर, तुम शांत भोर,
मै बहता जल, तुम ठहरे छोर,
तेरी आँखे नम मेरी हैं कठोर,
मै टुकड़ो में, तुम एक डोर,
फिर इतना आकर्षण क्यूँ है?

मेरा जाता कल, तेरा आता कल,
मै बहका सा, तुम हो अचल,
मै श्याम पट, तुम नभ धवल,
मै छाया हूँ, तुम हो असल,
फिर भी इतना आकर्षण है,

तुम हो प्रयाग, मुझपे है दाग,
मै कर की मांग, तुम सरल त्याग,
तुम घुप तिमिर, मै व्यग्र राग,
मेरे भस्म से, तुम कहती "जाग",
अब भी इतना आकर्षण है...

-अनुभव

The First Word

2010-08-25T19:53:00.001+05:30

The First Word
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Now recruiting - New Team for LoL Season 1

2010-08-12T18:52:00.001+05:30

Team Name:Vancraft Luftwaffe

Team Warsign - The VanCraft

Current team:

1. DPS - Ashe - iolotusbobo

2. DPS - Teemo - stormryder

3. Empty

4. Empty

5. Empty

Leave a comment here if you want to join the team.

आज ना होगा कल जैसे

2010-08-05T19:57:00.000+05:30

फिर क्यूँ सोचे तू ऐसे ?
आज हुआ क्या कल जैसे ?
जब शाम अधूरी चुप बैठी
तब रहे अँधेरा चुप कैसे ?

बात बनी न जब शह से
मात करेगा तू कैसे ?
हाथ खुले हैं आँखे बंद,
ख्वाब बुनेगा क्या भय से?

जब बोल रहा हो जग लय से,
क्या शोर करेगा तू ऐसे?
तू रात अधूरी रहने दे,
सुबह शुरू कर बस जय से!

फिर ना सोचेगा तू ऐसे,
की आज हुआ फिर कल जैसे...

-अनुभव

Away they go

2010-07-31T16:34:00.009+05:30

Away they go
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Oranges

2010-07-31T16:34:00.007+05:30

Oranges
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

In the woods

2010-07-31T16:34:00.006+05:30

In the woods
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

He walks alone among the woods, within the crowd,
He strays away and off to far distant furrowed spaces,
Comes back with silence, thoughts and will to do,
He steps aside and moves ahead to change the world.

Speed

2010-07-31T16:33:00.004+05:30

Speed
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Can you go any faster than this guy?

Not so camouflaged

2010-07-31T16:33:00.001+05:30

Not so camouflaged
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Dominance

2010-07-31T16:32:00.001+05:30

Dominance
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Rainbow duck

2010-07-31T16:30:00.001+05:30

Rainbow duck
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Quite thoughtful

2010-07-31T16:29:00.004+05:30

Quite thoughtful
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

The ground below. The water. The dream.
A little still moment on the side of the stream...
Who thinks, what moves, when and how?
There's music in the air, silent as it may seem.

Sleeping beauty

2010-07-31T16:29:00.003+05:30

Sleeping beauty
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Magnificent

2010-07-31T16:27:00.001+05:30

Magnificent
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Caught him at the KL Aviary - It was a captivating moment

Wild flower

2010-06-07T17:44:00.000+05:30

Was just scribbling randomly with dark shades and suddenly this thought came to mind... Someone gift me a graphic pen so that I can draw more easily :)

10 Thousand Buddha

2010-05-26T17:46:00.001+05:30

DSC_0220
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

An interesting place with thousands of statues of Buddha. Situated near the heart of New Territories, Hong Kong.

Chain lightning

2010-05-26T17:45:00.001+05:30

Chain lightning
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Laila came and stunned us. Now we miss her.

Who are you kidding?

2010-03-04T16:43:00.000+05:30

We can avoid many problems if we are just honest with our own selves.

Grayed out

2010-02-22T20:09:00.000+05:30

In the flights through my head, I find some gray corners,
That yearn and call with no words at all; just silence,
Combing through the tall gray grass, silent whispers -
That have no meaning to scattered dust or the wind.
The wind is listening and speaking all at once,
The dust just following the wind's gestures in awe,
The whispers, oblivious to the world, flowing in echoes...
What's to make what of what? Who of who? And why?
Is there is a single reason why I look up at the sky?
Or is not the chaos enough to explain my givings?
Mere mortal forms and the not so mortal fragments...
Come together and sit under the vast hollow night,
Filling cups with flowing needs, effervescent wants -
Bubbling up and falling over the brim of reality,
The silent whispers are perhaps telling of the dark -
Side of the mortal thoughts and the immortal winds
Hold it against no consequence - neither the dust.
For in all of our mortal vices and all of our deeds,
We have not left untouched any and all of the grays,
But still we have not changed a thing, it is today,
As it was before us and as it shall be much after,
Our hands and feet have crumbled into the dust -
Flowing with the wind - much after we are gone,
The whispers will remain - our only consequence,
We would not have mattered just grayed out...

-Anubhav

And then I wonder, why?

2009-12-21T03:10:00.001+05:30

In the face of gentle lies, I lie to see the pale blue sky,
To feel beneath my fingers - a tingle asking me to fly,
The cold, sharp and wet grass takes me by surprise,
I look below and then above and then I wonder why?
Why do I live in a world where cars move on roads?
Where people wearing shiny shoes are always passing by...
And dreams walk in svelte clothes while we watch in awe,
Seated in our new red chairs with a sparkle in each eye,
Can't I be the dream I lived when I was dreaming last?
Brave and smiling to face the end that was drawing nigh...
Then again and again the dreams seem losing charm,
When I let my mind run wild and let my silence cry,
Asking but the cosmic void if this is not a dream?
To breath and smile and walk - To be what they call I,
And take a chance with everyday to fight or fly or win,
To write a story in the end of great wonders with a sigh..
And yell out into the shimmering screens, into a hollow dark,
Where dreams dream of being me while staring at the sky!

-Anubhav

-------
Just watched the movie "Avatar" - a truly amazing spectacle and then was just wondering of various things about movies, how they take us into a different world which seems so much more exciting than our own... so just penned down some thoughts thereafter...

Lonely woman

2009-11-19T17:37:00.001+05:30

Lonely woman
Originally uploaded by Anubhav Kushwaha

Was just thinking about this woman who is probably confused, wants to do a lot and is feeling lonely... played with the colors and some expressions and this is what I got...

Taking that step

2009-11-18T02:16:00.000+05:30

You need hope, love and happiness,
To walk across and hold his hand,
He needs nothing to look at you -
And to ask for more of each of
What you don't have and crave for
But then you are still figuring
The odds that he is poorer than you
For only if he is more needy -
Will your ego let you take a step
But then you have to be selfless
For that leap can take you further
Away from the one that is walking
Towards you to hold your hands...

-Anubhav

Just some Haiku

2009-11-10T01:27:00.000+05:30

Silent victories / In random evenings do galore / But at dawn they hide

Find a small shadow / Hide your weapons and yourself / Wait for life to pass by you

He smiles but only / Of rare moments telling him / Slowly goes blank again

An evening near the lake

2009-10-22T23:19:00.000+05:30

If I were fungible what would you barter me for?

2009-10-15T01:58:00.000+05:30

“If I were fungible what would you barter me for? Would it make sense to buy coffee or tea or any of your fast moving consumer goods with me? Would they sell it to you in exchange? Would it rather make sense to buy some time instead? Or is there something else that I am worth?” – What a thought to end your day with? Not wonderful, not pessimistic, just an introspective trail.

I looked at the wall, the floor, the table, the computer, the two markers (both red & black), the board pins and almost every significant article in the room - Significant in its essence to be able to capture an impactful region of the visible zone that my brain was processing. I was able to attach a “value proposition” or an “existence rationale” or whatever you want to put it as; essentially I was able to attach some worth to almost everything. I was able to say “if I did not have this, it is going to affect my life negatively (or in some cases positively)”.

Then I tried imagining those things looking at me - What was their perception of me? At first I said to myself “It doesn’t matter”, “I don’t care anyway” but then I let myself accept the premise that I do care for a bit. I thought about it for a while and I was not able to find a direct correlation with myself. I was getting answers like, “You are good with your peers”, “You are useful at your job”, “You sometimes come up with sketches that look alright” and so on. There was no direct “You are a table and I need a table” or “You are a keyboard without you I can’t type” type of a perception.

I was forced to think about it while driving home and eating my rather mundane dinner. Somewhere between the rice and crashing on my bed, I started thinking of other people and their perceptions from a third person view. It turned out that my perceptions were not very different from the perceptions of the tables or the chairs. I thought it but realized that the perceptions of the inanimate objects were my own imaginary perceptions and offered no real insight into human worth. It was one man’s opinion. That is when it struck me, human worth is usually just an opinion and it all depends on who you’re asking.

The dolphins might absolutely abhor our nuclear scientists. Most poultry would detest the person who introduced the idea of cooking... well I am digressing but therein lies my point. I would refrain from opining that it matters but I have a hunch that I might be on to something. So I think some more, and start reading some biographical notes. Let me take the example of Jean Jacques Rousseau, the influential philosopher and writer, who seems to be connected to most of modern human social thinking regarding politics or education. Now there may be a lot of people who think that his contribution was pointless or otherwise. Or let’s take Adolf Hitler for example, it is very likely that a lot of his colleagues thought very highly of him and to them he was worth his life. In my opinion, although his life might have impacted ours but our opinions today do not impact his life.

That brings me to be second point, self-worth of a human would usually be a reflection of their perceived worth by their peers and contemporaries. Which is what would have driven people like Adolf Hitler to be confident and determined to do what they wanted to do... The train of thought continues, leading one subtle turn to another and I finally ask myself, “Do I care for my perceived worth for people after I die?”, “Is my sense of strong or weak self-worth driving me to do things that would negatively impact the lives of others?”, “Is that something I should really worry about”, “What is my true worth?”.

On further introspection I circumvented myself to the proverbial finale. Eventually, I realized what truly matters, is our own opinion of our worth. Our true worth is determined by what we think our worth is. So if what really made Adolf Hitler happy was to do things that would lead him to world conquest at the cost of the lives and happiness of a large number of people, then that is what his fungibility would have bought him. That was what his true worth is. Sooner or later each one of us has to realize that they cannot package themselves in flashy wrappers and sell themselves as something that they don’t believe in. The mystique and gibberish would ultimately give way to the bold letters on the white board with someone chiming, “I told you so”, to someone else. Some people whose opinion might not even matter in the bigger picture and they would have wasted a significant part of their lives changing that opinion or keeping it influenced. The greedy algorithm would not work in this case and you have to delve deep. One has to visit every corner of their entity to find out what really makes them happy, what makes them go crazy, what makes them fall in love, what makes them wake up early, run faster than they ever have, yell out in pleasant approval... Find the thing that you think you’re worth, the thing that you think you should be perceived for and go do it.

If I am able to do that, I would have a consistent answer from the tables, chairs and my friends. I would have an answer that would make me smile and would not make me worry about what people say when I am not around. It is our own assessment of our capabilities and lives that will define our choices, our gambles and our parts in ramshackles. Everytime I ask myself the question, “If I were fungible, what would you barter me for?” and to begin with I would say, “I know for sure that it is not coffee or tea or any of your fast moving consumer goods...” And some day, I would say “I know for sure it is...”